That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
