Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
