So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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