I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
