Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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