i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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