Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
