I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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