Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
