We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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