Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
