I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
