I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize