are you so shy because you have an std?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
