I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.