i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
