My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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