If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night