I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.