Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
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I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,