a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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