Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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