he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
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So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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