Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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