I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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