We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
