Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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