just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
