Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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