Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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