with your own penis?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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