Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
