20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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