you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
