At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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