I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
