Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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