So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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