Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
