have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
