i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
