If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize