O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
