We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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