I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
