It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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