i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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