he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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