Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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