a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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