It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
