You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
