You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize