He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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