That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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