you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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