i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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