Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
