Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
