Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I checked into jail on foursquare
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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