Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
