im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
